coaching. body doubling. support.

One on One personalized sessions for what you need.

20 minute initial chat ..... no fee
50 minute call ..... $275
60 min in person ..... $300/hr (2hr minimum)
Mentor Program ..... no fee
Group programs ..... please inquire
"Helping others heal is healing in itself"
We've all been where you are. And it was horrible. And we decided to make ourselves available to help the next person through the hell we just survived. Everyone here pays it forward and volunteers to help at least one person get through a trauma similar to their own. Some of us had to deal with restraining orders , others with social services; some of us were traumatized by infedelity and others are survivors of the unimaginable. As alone as you feel, there is likely someone in this network who has gone through what you are experiencing right now. And that is where the mentor steps in. They can understand your pain and if nothing else, will help hold you together and remind you that to date, you have 100% accuracy of surviving the worst day of your life. And you are going to do it again tomorrow. And eventually, you will be on the other side helping someone else survive the day.
Maybe. Maybe not. Let's have a quick, confidential chat and see where you are. Everyone involved with this community really believes "helping others heal is healing in itself'. This is not about the price tag. It's that we already survived the most extreme circumstances and trauma. We have empathy for what you are going through and want to help. And the more we help you, the more we heal ourselves. If I cannot personally help you, I would honored to connect you to someone in this network who could help. Connections in healing, at least in this community, are free of charge. Wouldn't it be nice if the whole world operated that way?
When I was in the "thick of it", I was so desperate for help. Anything. At the peak of my devastation, when my whole world had shattered and I was operating on 4 hours of sleep a night, I was suddenly navigating legal meetings, court systems, understanding all my finances while also running a household, managing two kids and trying to hold it all together. My house was a disaster. My computer was old and glitchy and just attempting to log into the banks had me in tears. I just needed help. In any department. And I had to do it alone (it was also the beginning of covid and the whole world was falling apart). It was fucking hard. But I learned a lot. Thriving Adjacent is everything I so desperately wished I could have had back then. Its a gift to my previous self...who I forgive for all the things she did not know back then.
These are all different terms for more or less the same things: ways to help.
- Coaching is helping you through the process and building your strength. It might be sharing what to expect when going through the Marin Court system. Maybe it's training you on to interact with a narcissist that you still have to co-parent with.
- Body Doubling is helping you as if we were you. If you have to meet with your attorney and you are not sure you will retain all the information and be able to advocate for yourself, a body double can go with you, hear it and help you digest it all afterwards. Or maybe it's doing your laundry or organizing your pantry or meal prep. It's being the you that you cannot be right now because let's face it, this is an overwhelming process. But at least there is a solution. You dont have to struggle on your own any more.
- Support is a combo and just a simpler way to describe what I needed. Because it was everything. I needed someone to hear me, to see how frail I'd become, to make me eat, to offer to play with my kids so I could take a nap. I needed to organize my closest, my finances. I needed someone to review my parenting plan that my STBX edited and put back all the things he'd removed. I counted on my attorney to help and she did not...it got left out and I didnt know until it was too late...because my brain was in a fog and I couldn't manage it all. I needed someone to help me with that and I had no one. I would have paid anything at that time to just have someone come and help me. So this is my gift to my past self. Someone is here and available to help.

MEET RUBY

I saw a quote somewhere that said “helping others heal is healing in itself”. It sounded so distant, so unattainable. I wrote that phrase on the bathroom wall in a desperate call for help. I thought maybe someone would see how shattered I was and come help me. But no one came. The weight of my emotions were so tremendous that I couldn't get a full breath. I couldn't breathe. I felt like someone was not just holding me underwater but that I had been pushed so deeply down that the pressure was crushing my lungs. But I had to get up. I had to get up and swim as hard as I could to break the surface. Because it wasn't just me. I had children on the other side of the bathroom door begging me to come and play with them. It was the beginning of the pandemic so school was closed, no friends or family or babysitters were coming. Their dad had left and wasn't coming back. It was just me. So this is a story of how I figured out how to survive. And how to feel better.

I am not a therapist and have not taken an online course to learn how to coach you. What I do have is a PhD in my own experience. And now, hundreds of accumulated hours of experience in the sector of trauma and grief support. It started with a friend mentioning her neighbor was going through a divorce and could I talk to her. And then another friend asked for an attorney referral. And next thing I knew I was taking two hour meetings at coffee shops listening to a new story that sounded so similar to the one I had heard the week before and explaining how to start the process of divorce when in shock and trauma.

When I was at my lowest, I would have paid anything to have someone sit by my side and just help me. To hear me. To have my back. My brain was in a fog. How could I deal with attorneys and court, not to mention process my ex and his mistress taking my children from me on holidays. I needed help to figure out my budget, how to procure this list of hundreds of documents my attorney was asking for (in the end it was over two hundred). I was so hurt, my emotions so big. I did everything I heard of to feel better. I went to TRE classes (Trauma Release Exercise), I tried medication, I tried “medicine”. I went to a therapist, then a psychologist. I even had the luxury of a life coach and worked with energetic healers. I found a divorce support group for women. The mediator was not very helpful but I was grateful for the connections and help I received from the other women. It took a while but one day I found myself immersed in communities that talked about healing trauma all the time. We sat in hyperbaric chambers and infrared saunas. I read the books…though it took years. And learned about body doubling, a service I had so desperately wanted but never knew it existed.

And then one day, it was over. All the trauma and stress seemed to dissipate. The brain fog was gone. It really did end. I could breathe naturally and normally. But holy fuck it was hard to get there.

What I offer now is the support I so desperately wished I had back then. The good news is that you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You just have to know it exists and luckily, you found this community. We are here to help you heal. And we are thankful for the opportunity. Because it helps us to continue healing ourselves.